Blog Psychologist

What I've decided is that we have 3 resources in making decisions, our heart, our head and our gut. Different people tend to follow different things more often than others. To me, your heart is like the devil on one shoulder telling you to ignore the reason of the angel, or the mind, on the other shoulder. Then there's the truth and that's usually the gut feelings we have, that are typically ignored by most.

I have been thinking about a couple who are in a situation where the man has been accused of cheating. The signs are pretty disturbing and thus the mind is skeptical when the accused says that the rumors are false. The heart, of course, says to believe, to follow blindly. It's not that the heart is bad, it just wants what it wants with no concern for reason or consequences. Usually the heart just wants to be loved, to love and to believe in the good in people.

Confusion, no doubt, sets in when our resources disagree on a path. This is usually when people seek out therapy. They go, knowing already what the right answer is, what the gut tells them is really true, but hoping the therapist can make them feel better about their choice, which is usually the choice of the heart.

My point is this, ladies, and men too, 98% of the time, we know what the truth is but we deny it. Instead of making the hard choice in the moment, we deny and we go on to build up resentments towards each other; fights occur, things are said that can't be taken back. Then, it ends anyway, only with people hating one another, when it didn't have to be that way.

Don't get me wrong, I get it, I understand why this happens. Love, or the quest for love, mixed with our fear of being alone, it all defies logic. It makes us hang onto to things we don't want. It makes us do things we never thought we'd be capable of. Then, when kids are thrown into the mix, forget about it. The choice to change becomes that much harder. Not to mention the economy and years spent with a person. It all just adds up and so we stay in the uncomfortable place that has become our comfort zone.