Blog Psychologist

When I watched Baby Borrowers, I thought it was a great idea to teach teens they were not ready for children. However, I didn't get why they would have them look after the elderly. Turns out, it was a great lesson on relationships because the elderly have been through it all. While, I don't think teens need to worry about getting in serious relationships so young, I think it's important to understand that all relationships in their life will be hard work.

My husband, Brandon, and I have been together for 9 years now. We met when he was 18 and I was 21.
Ah, so young and so in love. I don't know if it was "love at first sight", but we were definitely drawn towards one another. Even though he wasn't my type and, on the surface, we were complete opposites, we just hit it off right away.

I remember telling my mom, after only the second time seeing him, that he was different. How right I was. Though, like I said, we were very different from one another, it was like he saw something in me that no one else saw and vice versa. So, while I'd like to say that I have some great knowledge on how to find love and what it is exactly, the truth is that I was lucky.

All I know is that I was in a good place in my life. I was more independent than I'd ever been, feeling great about where I was headed, and not worrying myself with "looking for love". That is when, my mom always said, you find it.

The other thing is that I had decided that I had to think positive. If you think that you're only going to meet dogs out there, then that's what you're going to meet. You have to believe that there are good guys and girls out there still.

In my experience since, I realized finding love was the easy part. The hard part comes when you move in together. Wow, no matter how well you might get along before that, the true test is when you pool your finances and start making everyday decisions together.

That, like all transition periods in a persons life, is a hard time. Unfortunately, I think too many people give up during this period. They run back to their comfort zone and wonder why relationships never work out. The fact of the matter is that, not every person is going to be the right person for you; but if you find the person you want to be with, you still need to expect that it will be hard. If you give up too soon, then it won't matter what person you are with, relationships won't work out. Easy relationships, with no bumps along the road, don't exist.

If you truly love someone, then you put the work in and reap the benefit, like with anything else. Just make sure that the other person is willing to put as much effort in as you. One sided relationships never work out well. There has to be compromise, trust and communication for a healthy relationship. Don't get me wrong there are plenty of relationships that last a long time without those things, but mind you that I said "healthy". That's the goal, to be mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy. Happiness follows.