My husband and my 10 year anniversary was last week, followed by his B-day, for which I threw a party. So, I've been super busy and haven't been to the gym in a week. I am down on myself about it even though it was unavoidable given the time restraints.
What was avoidable, though I wasn't successful, was the decadent dessert on our anniversary and the sweets and pop at the party. I did stay away from the birthday cake, but it wasn't hard considering I don't have the same tastes as my husband. For one, he doesn't like chocolate very much. I don't think I knew this about him when we married. It might have skewed my view of him if I had.
It's hard to want to get back to the gym now, but I know I'll have to force myself tomorrow. If nothing else, we paid for memberships and I'm too frugal to throw money away like that. I know I'm not alone in this struggle and there's some comfort in that.
I'd gladly welcome some encouragement. Lord knows, I need it.
So I talked about my struggles now, It's time to talk about my goals.
To give you an idea of what I'm working with, here is a picture of me (in black) back in the day:
And as much as I hate to even show this, here is me now:
It's not that I expect to look like I did when I was young, though it would be nice. I will settle for being healthy and more energetic for my baby's sake. I especially don't want him to have the same eating habits I have now. So, that's it. I have to make a change for both my baby and myself.
Here's the plan in it's simplest form:
I have lost 5 pounds since I started working out 4 weeks ago now. Hey, it's something and I'm pretty happy about it given that I've been really pushing myself.
While I would like to say the 45 pounds I've gained since I met my husband is pregnancy weight, that would be a long pregnancy. Truth is, I've been steadily gaining over the last 8 years. It was mostly due to circumstances and ignorance in the beginning.
I'd always been smaller, not super "skinny" but happy with my weight; but I was also very active and worked at it. Then, we moved to a place with a gym, but didn't find out until it was too late that nothing in the gym actually worked. So, rather than join a gym, I told myself I could maintain my weight without working out. Turns out I was sorely mistaken.
Once I started gaining, I got depressed about it and ate as a means of soothing myself and it turned into this vicious cycle that I would have never believed I would be in.
I stayed at 160 for a long time, and I swore I'd never get bigger, but then I got pregnant. Now, I'm 10 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant and it has absolutely nothing to do with the baby weight. I actually did better when I was pregnant than I normally do. I only gained 35 lbs. I ate right, drank tons of water, and all that jazz. I then lost the weight I'd gained pretty immediately after having my 10 pound baby.
The problem is that I wasn't expecting to lose it that fast and it tricked my mind into thinking I had super metabolism. So I ate all the things I denied myself. I am definitely paying for the bad choices I made, but I'm finally taking steps towards rectifying the situation. My husband and I both joined a gym with a daycare for the babe. It's been 3 weeks now and let me tell you, I feel great.
The changes are small at this point; but for the first time in a very, very long time, I feel truly hopeful.
