It's getting to be that time again...my dad's birthday is coming followed shortly by the 3rd anniversary of his death. With him on my mind, I wrote a friend who's going through a very hard time. His father is ill and he's in a bad place. I thought I'd share it, because you never know, it may help.
I've been thinking about you and what you're going through. I hesitate in even telling you this because I know how it sounds. Please take me serious and remember who I am. I'm not a bible thumper, but when I was dealing with my dad's death... undoubtedly the most depressing time of my life, I listened to Kirk Franklin alot and it really helped. In fact, the day he died, the first thing I did was go to my dad's car and played the songs "My life is in your hands" and "more than I can bear". Please, for me, look up these songs and really listen to them.
It may be the last thing you thought you would ever do, but know there is great relief in letting "Jesus take the wheel".
As that song goes,
"Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do
this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on"
I know, I know this probably sounds cheesy, but we all hit places in our lives where we just feel so overwhelmed and it doesn't feel like it will get better. But then you realize it's out of your hands and you ask for help, from those around you and from Jesus, God, whatever.
I know you're in therapy, but you also know your behavior is counter-productive and you're sabotaging any chance of getting better. Drinking and all that only masks things and all the problems are still there in the morning. You need to face things and know things will get harder before they get better, but they will get better. It's just hard work.
Lastly, look up Kirk Franklin's song "Declaration" and let it be your anthem.
You don't have the right to give up on life and happiness. You have people, a wife and kids who all love you.
If the problem is a stressful job, give it up. It's not worth what it's doing to you. Your wife would rather you be happy than rich. If it's your dad, then spend the time with him, say the things that need to be said and let there be no regrets.
Life can be good again. I promise you. You have to believe it though.
I know so many people who are looking for the "perfect partner". Unfortunately, they seem to pay no mind to whether or not they are an equally perfect partner. It makes sense doesn't it? I mean let's say you find this person, you have to ask yourself, what will they see in you?
For instance, I cannot tell you how many over-weight guys I've met in my life, who only date skinny girls. What is that about? These are the same guys who want virginal girls when they, themselves, are complete ...well...sluts. Let me tell you something guys, a virginal girl won't want you and whatever diseases you bring to the table.
Maybe you're hoping for a person to clean when you're a slob...well opposites do attract, so maybe that will happen, but why should it? Why should you get away with being half par, but expect so much from a partner?
Perhaps, instead of thinking about what you want, you should be thinking about what you want to be.
