I've been watching Hoarders lately. No, I don't have this particular issue, but I know it's supposed to branch from OCD. Recently, there was an episode with a psychologist/hoarder. I know this may seem odd to people to have someone with a disorder when she should know how to deal with such things. I, of course, relate because my degree is also in Psych (though I'm not practicing at the moment) and I have OCD.
What one needs to consider is that we all have issues and that none of us have all of the answers. For one reason or another, people tend to be harder on psychologists than other professionals. For instance, no one seems to care when their physical doctors are over-weight or when their hairdresser looks like Jose Eber. I mean that guy doesn't even cut his hair and he wears a hat all of the time, but no one seems to question it.
The reality is that your family doctor probably isn't healthy because he works long hours, in a high stress position and probably eats from machines and drive-thrus~~the exact opposite of what they'd tell us to do. Along those same lines, psychologists often have major issues. While trying to work out these issues, it's easy to develop an interest in the field of psychology in general, which can lead to a career. I think it also gives a real compassion towards others because there's an understanding there.
I know when I went to see a grief counselor after my father passed, it felt important to me that she'd lost someone close to her because otherwise I didn't think she could understand. Lord knows, I didn't understand this level of grief until I went through it myself. This is why rehabs often have recovering addicts working there.
That isn't to say that psychologists and mental health workers need to experience everything their patients go through, just like physical doctors don't have to have had a disease to try and cure it. But to have "issues", whatever they may be, is something that connects us as human beings. If psychologists were issue-free, then I don't think they would be very good at their jobs.
Recently a student contacted me and asked if I would take part in a project for school. I thought I'd share the questions I was asked and the answers I gave:
1. How did you get interested in psychology and dream study?
I started keeping a dream journal when I was 12. I had a dream so realistic and so disturbing that I wrote it down and hid it like a secret. I knew then that dreams were important. They could affect you. In fact, I still remember that dream vividly, 18 years later.
2. In practicing psychology, how crucial are a patient's dreams?
Dream Interpretation is a tool that can be used like any other. It's not crucial, but if you're good at interpretation, then I believe it's very helpful in discovering what's at the core of an issue.
3. How does a psychologist know how to accurately interpret dreams when there seems to be various interpretations of the same dreams?
I don't know that the psychologist actually interprets for a person though they can certainly have opinions. More so, I think a psychologist guides a person in discovering the meaning for themself. This, in some sense, is what psychology is all about. Who's to say any interpretations are "accurate", dream or not. It's all about guiding and when the answers right, it will click with the patient.
4. What do you believe is the true purpose of our dreams, if any at all?
The activities of the day often distract us from what is important in life. At night, we have to focus on what it is our mind has been telling us the whole time. So, I guess I think the purpose is to alert us to what needs attention or just reflection.
5. Do you believe people can derive symbols from their dreams? (ex: Can an apple just be an apple or does it always have to mean something else?)
I don't think that dreams are always literal, but they can be. I actually go more by the feeling of the dream. If the dream makes you feel sad, then I think it might have something to do with what makes you sad in the day.
6. What is the most interesting thing about dreams that you have come across during your career in psychology?
By far, the ability to control dreams through lucid dreaming has impacted my dream life greatly. I used to have nightmares all the time and once I learned to control my dreams, I took back my power. Of course, I have to already be in control during the day to control my dreams at night. Still, there's no feeling greater than being able to stand up to your nightmares.
7. Do you think people should really pay attention to their dreams?
I think many dismiss them, but many people dismiss psychology in general. I think that if you take your mental health seriously, then dream interpretation should be paid attention to.
8. Do you believe all dreams having some meaning?
I think there's a scale of importance and some dreams rank very low.
E ven though my experiences with therapists didn't turn out like I would have liked, I still believe in therapy. Just because the therapists that I had didn't work for me, doesn't mean they wouldn't have worked for someone else. There are many different types of therapists because there are many different types of people. As I mentioned before, I think that timing plays a part as well because my first therapist didn't work for me when I was seeing him, but maybe he would have been better for me at the time that I was seeing my third.
Unfortunately, it's harder to find the right fit than I would have thought. Still, I think it's worth it for everyone. I say "everyone" because there are still people out there who associate going to therapy with being crazy. It's just not the case. Going to a therapist for a sane person is no different than going to your medical doctor for check ups when you're healthy.
Sometimes it just helps to talk and get things off your chest. Whether it's the stresses of your job, or your family, or just the stupid things you see day to day. You shouldn't underestimate how good you can feel when you release those things. A therapist is someone who you can confide in without the worry that they will tell someone and that there will be repercussions in your day to day life. They're someone who can be objective and has no reason to deceive you or betray you. You should never feel strange about going to a therapist.
Don't let money be the excuse. Insurance should pay for it. If you don't have insurance, there are free clinics you can go to. There are also hotlines that you can call. I know because I have worked in these clinics and answered these calls. So, if you do want to talk to someone, there are resources available. You just have to seek them out.
T his was my first experience with a therapist:
... my father had his third heart attack and was told that he wouldn't have long to live. I became extremely depressed. So, I started going to a therapist myself. It was nothing like I'd expected. There was no lying on a couch, crying, while being asked questions about my childhood. In fact, there wasn't much to it at all. The guy that I saw barely said anything to me. I felt like I was talking to a wall. He did, however, send me to a psychiatrist who pumped me full of meds that made me start hallucinating that people were attacking me. When I told the guy, he actually advised me to stay on them. There I was, seeing people run at me, defending myself against people that did not exist, and he tells me it's okay.Needless, to say, but I stopped seeing both the therapist and the psychiatrist.
The next therapist I saw was a woman. I told her up front that I didn't like that my previous therapist didn't talk and that he put me on meds as an answer to my problem. She then assured me that she would be different. Well, she was and she wasn't. She did talk more but then she slowly convinced me to go back on medication. To her defense, the drugs helped; but I made a very common mistake.
After I started feeling better, I thought great! I can stop taking the pills and I don't need to see a therapist anymore. Turns out it was the pills that were making me feel better and when I put a halt to them, my happiness halted as well. Things got better with my dad though and so I decided to let it go.
The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth because, even though I was feeling better, I didn't think psychology should be about handing off pills to everyone who walks through the door. I would have much rather had a therapist talk me through the emotions so that I could deal with these types of things better in the future as well.
Turns out I really needed that because when I finally lost my dad, I completely fell apart. My husband was so concerned that he asked me to go see someone and I did. A third therapist, another woman, supposedly specializing in grief counseling. First thing she did was ask me to write my father a letter talking to him about any unresolved issues. Well, that was fine and good but when my father died, it was of cancer and not a heart attack like we'd all prepared ourselves for. So, my dad actually had nine months before he passed and we'd said everything we needed to. Still, I wrote a letter saying good-bye.
In the next sessions, my husband joined me for support. The therapist started telling us we needed to get passed the pain. At only 4 weeks since we'd lost him, I thought it was soon to tell me to get over it. I was no where near ready. In fact, it's almost been 2 years and I still don't know if I'm ready. The point being that I didn't think she should tell me when I'm ready. What I wanted from her was someone to listen. I wanted my first therapist, "the wall". Turns out he did have a function.
In summary, I haven't had the greatest experiences with the therapists that I've seen. However, I do still believe in therapy. I know there has to be some good ones out there. I'd love to hear your experiences with therapists.
W hen I originally decided on psychology as a career path, my intentions were to become a profiler. Specifically, I wanted to work with serial killers. Mind you, I was 13 at the time and was sure that the world was black and white. Thus, I was fascinated with the idea of good and evil.
You can read what first inspired me here.
I was actually very passionate about psychology for years, right up until I was about half way through college. A few things happened at that point. One, I realized what college was really about. It wasn't caring people who wanted the best for me, teaching me the essentials to make sure I was the best psychologist I could be. Instead, college was a money making monster, doing the least amount of work possible to pump out degrees to anyone who paid their dues. I realize now that I was naive to have thought anything different.
Secondly, my father had his third heart attack and was told that he wouldn't have long to live. I became extremely depressed. So, I started going to a therapist myself. It was nothing like I'd expected. There was no lying on a couch, crying, while being asked questions about my childhood. In fact, there wasn't much to it at all. The guy that I saw barely said anything to me. I felt like I was talking to a wall. He did, however, send me to a psychiatrist who pumped me full of meds that made me start hallucinating that people were attacking me. When I told the guy, he actually advised me to stay on them. There I was, seeing people run at me, defending myself against people that did not exist, and he tells me it's okay.
Needless, to say, but I stopped seeing both the therapist and the psychiatrist. That experience along with my realizations about school, led to doubts about my career path and about everything I thought to be true.
Finally, I met the man who would become my husband. This was ultimately the deciding factor for me because I never wanted to have a career and a family. It was always one or the other in my mind because I didn't think I could be great at both. It's like how medical doctors nurse you to health, but tend to be unhealthy themselves because they're so over-worked and stressed. How was I supposed to go deal with life's "monsters" during the day and come home to be sane enough to raise a mentally healthy family? I don't know, maybe there are people who do it, but I didn't want to take a chance.
When I met the man I knew I was fated to be with, at the time in which I was doubting my other path, I took it as a sign and a blessing. It's been 9 years since then and we now have a beautiful 6 month old son. I know I made the right choice for me.
