Blog Psychologist

In my last post I mentioned that my mother had been abused. Over the years, I've talked in great depth to my mother and father on the subject as they were both open to discussion.

My father went into a type of recovery from alcoholism when I was around 14. When I say recovery, I mean our life circumstances changed dramatically and he gave up the boozin' and thus stopped the abuse.

From those years on, life was fairly good I'd say. Once that happened, my parents shared alot about their lives with me. I found out my dad was abused as a kid and he watched his father abuse his mother. This is a story we hear all the time. Patterns do repeat.

My mom didn't have a father figure and so she sought out acceptance and love in the wrong places. She didn't know she deserved better. I know there may be a lot of people who would judge both, but unless you've been in the situation, you really shouldn't.

It's not to say people get a free pass because they had hardships growing up, but it's like Oprah says, "When you know better, you'll do better". You'd be fooling yourself to say that what happens in our childhoods don't affect our adult lives.

Once I understood where my parents came from I could see them as human and humans make mistakes. The one thing I always had in my life, as crazy as it was, was love. I knew my parents loved me. I think that, without it, I wouldn't have turned out as good as I did.