My son is now 17 months old now and we're trying to make the ever so important decision of whether or not to have a second child. With my age being a factor, if we were going to have another child, it should be soon. I'm going to be 32 this year and I don't want to be having kids past 35 for sure.
My mom was 34 when she had me and that was fine, but my dad was 40 and it was almost too old for my liking. I realize a lot of people are still having kids when they get older, but as a child of an older parent, it sucked. Sorry parents, but that's the truth of it. It sucked having kids think my dad was my grandpa and, more than anything, it sucked losing him so early in my life. Of course, having kids young is no indicator that you'll be around to see them grow up, but it can definitely heighten the chances. Oh what I would give to have had just another 10 years.
Mind you, I was no spring chicken when I had my son, but it wasn't that we weren't trying. We just left the timing up to God and I think it happened as it should, as does everything. Second time around though, would have to be different because, like I said, age is a factor.
There are many factors to consider this time. For instance, the proper spacing between children. I definitely want my son to have his time, but I would also want them to be close enough in age to enjoy one another. My sister and I are 11 years apart and it was more like having 2 mothers. It wasn't good to say the least.
Then there's the question of sex. Of course, we shouldn't care, but I would almost prefer another boy for the simple fact that I believe same sex siblings are usually closer. I know there are exceptions, but I haven't seen them in my own life.
I guess the truth is that if we have another child, a big reason would be so my son would have a sibling and will hopefully share a strong bond. There is no guarantee though and so I wonder if we should stop. My worry is that he will feel shorted.
Having so much distance between my sister and I, it was like I was an only child. My husband was an only child, but later gained step siblings. So it's like we both understand to some extent but then we do still have someone to fall back on now.
When I say fall back on, I am thinking of times of needing someone. I don't know what I would have done when dealing with my dad's death without my sister. Of course, my son could always have good friends, but friendships aren't a strong point for my family. We have always been very closely knit and though I've had great friendships, they aren't who I lean on in times of need.
It's all a lot to take in and consider. I would love to hear from some only children to know if there is resentment there. I don't know, maybe it's that we always want what we don't have.
I thought this post my help me sort some things out along the way, but I'm no closer to making a decision. One question only needs to another.
Labels: Parenting
