Blog Psychologist

Is a fight ever really what it appears to be? I recently got into an argument with my sister, about a month and a half ago actually. It was over something really stupid, but we haven't spoken since.

My niece doesn't understand why we're still fighting and has taken it upon herself to try and keep the peace. Peacekeeper is a role I know very well because it's usually mine. What she doesn't understand is that this role I've played all my life has led me to exactly where I am right now.

In my 31 years, I cannot remember a single instance when my sister has ever apologized to me. She hasn't had to because I always do it, whether I feel I'm right or not. I do it because my sister isn't the type of person who can just let something go and so to keep the peace I give in and apologize...usually.

This time, I've tried to call truce on this issue, but it's never good enough to just say "this is stupid, let's just move on". No, my sister insists I grovel even though I don't feel I'm wrong and it really is over something small. This is why I refuse to apologize to my sister. 31 years is a long time and I've simply had enough.

I don't explain that to my niece because she's too young and because it doesn't involve her, but this isn't about the fight anymore. This is about a lifetime of resentments towards my sister. So, to the observer, it looks stupid and it is, but you teach people how to treat you. Unfortunately, I've taught my sister a lesson it's now time to break.