Blog Psychologist

Last night I dreamt about spiders and that wasn't so important as was the thought, within my dream, that I felt like I react to spiders like I do my mother. I woke, not knowing what that meant. All I did know was that I don't like spiders and I try to avoid them. So, before I got up and around, I stopped to reflect on why I would be having these same thoughts about my mom.

The thing about my mom is that she wasn't raised with a lot of affection and so she didn't give a lot. This didn't matter too much to me because I was very affectionate and would go to her when she didn't come to me. It wasn't until I got older that I resented that fact.

What I resent even more, however, is that my mom's side of the family is made up of a bunch of recluses who don't leave the house unless they have to. So, as a child, my mom never made an effort to do things with me. We never went to the park, except for the time when we were homeless and lived there. Which makes it understandable that, under the circumstances of our life at the time, fun wasn't her main priority.

Anyway, I don't like to think about these things because I know she did the best she could and I don't see the point to dwelling on it. However, I feel like I can't run from these things either and when they come up as they did in the dream, I think I need to face the truth of the situation that is my past.

So, after this soul searching, I naturally came to the conclusion that the dream wasn't telling me I needed to bash my mom. but it was warning me not to make these mistakes with my son. I say naturally because I let my mind wander and when I hit upon this conclusion, it felt right.

Being my mother's daughter, I am prone to wanting to be a home-body. This week, especially, was hard for me to get motivated and I didn't take the interest in my son that I should have. This dream was my wake up call. I believe we get several of these and, if we don't listen, then I think the world does something drastic to make us listen. I don't want that to happen and so it's time to get off my butt.