Now that I have a son, my mind runs rampant with things to come. For instance, I was watching one of those reality shows that flood tv nowadays and saw a kids room with Bob Marley posters all over the wall. Now, while I'd like to think the kid simply respected Bob Marley's ideals, I'm thinking the truth had something more to do with drugs.
It got me wondering what the kid's parents thought of the situation. I mean they have to know what that means, right? Are they okay with that? Even if a parent secretly holds the belief that pot isn't the worst thing in the world, shouldn't that be kept a secret? Shouldn't parents discourage it in their children, even if they, themselves, partook?
Personally, I never did. Mind you, I hung out with plenty of people who did, but I always saw that as a great reason not to. I saw the way my friends acted and knew that wasn't for me. I like to be in control of myself and to think clearly. Now, I didn't care that they did it, but when it comes to my son, I might mind. I'm not sure yet. What I do know is that even if I don't really mind, I will discourage it because I think that's what a parent should do.
I know it sounds prudish, but I don't think that I am. I actually think pot should be legal. I just don't know that we should encourage our youth in such practices is all.
Okay, I wasn't going to comment on this, but it's gotten so ridiculous that I have to say something. While I understand that people think it is crazy for a single woman struggling to make it with 6 children to go and have another 8 that she has no means to take care of. I just cannot condone the things that are being said to and about Nadya Suleman and her children. I mean she has received messages from people saying that they hope she and her children die.
This is crossing the line. I cannot wrap my mind around someone being so irate that they would wish something so horrible on children. They are innocent in this, and whether you like Nadya or not, these children need help. Here is Nadya's website where you can donate if you would like.
Last time I checked we live in a society that does not put restrictions on how many children you can have based on your income or even mental competency. Freedom is not something that you can pick and choose, we either love that about our country or we don't. Nadya is free to have as many children as she would like, just like we are.
Personally, I think she has some issues, but don't we all? By all accounts she is a very loving mother and I don't think that's anything to scoff at. Now, by no means does this mean that I agree with her choices. I find I don't agree with a lot of choices people make, but I don't think we should be so quick to chastise.
Besides, I think this is all misplaced anger that we have toward the government and those who have put our society in a state that we should put such importance on money over people. If we want to get upset over ignorant choices that have caused the downfall of our economy, this woman with 14 kids should not be the target.
I say the word "blessings" or "blessed" often, not because I'm extremely religious, but because it describes how I feel about my life perfectly. I, honestly, don't know that I've done anything in this life that was deserving of the wonderful things that have happened to me. Mostly, I mean my family. I have an amazing husband, and now an amazing son..jpg)
Every time I look at my baby, I think about how lucky I am to be able to stay home and take care of him. I know that there are a lot of mothers out there who would love to be in my position. I truly sympathize because even the thought of having to leave him with a sitter makes my heart ache. Though my husband has the security of knowing the baby is with me, I know he hates having to leave him as well.
I realize I may sound a little over the top, but I assure you I'm not. My husband and I were together for 8 years before we had our baby and we were very accustomed to an independent lifestyle. I used to think how ridiculous those people were who had to call and check on how their baby was doing in the middle of dinner. Now, I understand. Sometimes it can get so hard during the week. All I can think is about getting a break; but as soon as I'm away from my baby, I miss him. Even I think that's crazy.
I don't know how people do it except that they have to. With the economy the way it is, families need two incomes just to survive. That's assuming there are two incomes to have. Nowadays, there are so many parents out there, going it alone. My hats off.
Don't get the wrong idea, I am not wealthy by any means. I work from home and I do okay. Mostly my husband and I have simplified our lives to the point that we don't ask for much. Yet our lives are full and I'm thankful.
I think that it's important to say that once in awhile, so you don't forget the ... Blessings!
Ever wonder why the people who already believe in ghosts and aliens are the only ones to see ghosts and aliens? Now don't get me wrong, positivity is a great thing. However, I like to think of myself as a realist. Before you go buying into Oprah's drug of choice, The Secret, consider what I'm about to tell you.
First, "The Secret" isn't a secret at all. I've actually followed this and believed it for a very long time. Does the idea that the messages you send out into the universe determine what is delivered to you in your life work? Yes, it does. I know because it has worked for me.
For instance, before I met my husband, I dated a lot but never had what I'd call a successful relationship. Basically, I got bored quickly and moved on easily. I didn't get attached, but I longed to have that connection, as we all do. Then, I decided that it was my thinking that was holding me back. I didn't believe that I could have a long term relationship because I didn't believe there was a guy good enough to have one with. I thought guys were all dogs at heart. Then, when I changed my thinking and started to believe that there were still some decent men out there, guess what? I found one!
So there it is, positivity works. It's the why that's the question. Was it that I finally found a good guy because I sent the message to the universe? Or was it that there were good guys before, even guys that I had dated, but it wasn't until I believed it, that I saw it. Then, you have to ask yourself if it's real.
If I believe in aliens and I see a UFO, does it make it a UFO, or is it a regular plane that I have decided is something more. The same goes in the other direction. What if I explain away the UFO as a regular plane because I don't believe in UFOs?
Of course, no one really asks these questions because when you're an optimist, you don't care about the why, how and what of it all. You're happy because things are good, or at least you perceive them that way because you put a positive spin on everything around you. It's true what they say you know, ignorance is bliss.
I haven't talked much about it with most people around me but I have been back in therapy and have been put on meds for postpartum. I guess I started feeling down a couple months after I had my baby boy. I told my family doctor and she put me on Zoloft. That wasn't really working for me so she combined it with wellbutrin and that made me feel real drugged, which I hated.
I then decided I would try and talk it out with a therapist but she immediately put me on Cymbalta and some other anxiety med, I forgot the name. It wasn't what I wanted but she and her colleague was sure I was suffering from postpartum and that I needed something more than therapy. I actually agreed because I knew I wasn't myself.
I was feeling really agitated all the time and could be overcome by feelings of rage towards people when they had done nothing to cause it. So, for my baby's sake, I knew I had to do something. Luckily, I never had bad feelings towards him, nor did I take my anger out on him, but I knew I was losing control fast and was scared of what would happen.
I had heard of postpartum before, like most, but it wasn't until I saw Brooke Shields talk about it so candidly on Oprah that I realized the gravity of it. In fact, if I hadn't seen that show, I may not feel like I could even share this; but I think Brooke Shields was so brave and she really helped me realize that I'm not alone. So I feel it's very important that I do share my story.
As it is right now, Cymbalta is really helping and I'm feeling great. I know that, even though I'm on medication, this is how I should be feeling and not like I was before. That wasn't me and I knew it then but I was in a dark place and it took me having a near breakdown to get help.
I decided to stay in therapy and work on some issues I am having adjusting to having a baby, after 8 years of it being just me and my husband. I'm also working on issues with my OCD. I do like my current therapist, which if you've read my history, you know I've had problems with before.
If you feel like you are having similar problems, I strongly suggest talking to a doctor because this isn't something you should try and get through on your own. I think my case is pretty mild in comparison to a lot of cases we've heard about in the media. Unfortunately, a lot of women don't get the help they need and it can have fatal consequences.
If you're having thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, you need to reach out to those around you for support. Tell them and tell them again if they don't listen the first time. That's one problem I had was that I felt like I told people and they didn't take me as seriously as they should. Unless you're going through it, you don't know, but pride has to be put on the shelf in order to keep you and your baby safe. So scream it if you have to. Feel free to email me if you just want to talk. You're not alone.
When I watched Baby Borrowers, I thought it was a great idea to teach teens they were not ready for children. However, I didn't get why they would have them look after the elderly. Turns out, it was a great lesson on relationships because the elderly have been through it all. While, I don't think teens need to worry about getting in serious relationships so young, I think it's important to understand that all relationships in their life will be hard work.
My husband, Brandon, and I have been together for 9 years now. We met when he was 18 and I was 21.
Ah, so young and so in love. I don't know if it was "love at first sight", but we were definitely drawn towards one another. Even though he wasn't my type and, on the surface, we were complete opposites, we just hit it off right away.
I remember telling my mom, after only the second time seeing him, that he was different. How right I was. Though, like I said, we were very different from one another, it was like he saw something in me that no one else saw and vice versa. So, while I'd like to say that I have some great knowledge on how to find love and what it is exactly, the truth is that I was lucky.
All I know is that I was in a good place in my life. I was more independent than I'd ever been, feeling great about where I was headed, and not worrying myself with "looking for love". That is when, my mom always said, you find it.
The other thing is that I had decided that I had to think positive. If you think that you're only going to meet dogs out there, then that's what you're going to meet. You have to believe that there are good guys and girls out there still.
In my experience since, I realized finding love was the easy part. The hard part comes when you move in together. Wow, no matter how well you might get along before that, the true test is when you pool your finances and start making everyday decisions together.
That, like all transition periods in a persons life, is a hard time. Unfortunately, I think too many people give up during this period. They run back to their comfort zone and wonder why relationships never work out. The fact of the matter is that, not every person is going to be the right person for you; but if you find the person you want to be with, you still need to expect that it will be hard. If you give up too soon, then it won't matter what person you are with, relationships won't work out. Easy relationships, with no bumps along the road, don't exist.
If you truly love someone, then you put the work in and reap the benefit, like with anything else. Just make sure that the other person is willing to put as much effort in as you. One sided relationships never work out well. There has to be compromise, trust and communication for a healthy relationship. Don't get me wrong there are plenty of relationships that last a long time without those things, but mind you that I said "healthy". That's the goal, to be mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy. Happiness follows.
Society is decaying around us as we speak. As much as people want to deny that it's anything they're doing, you cannot deny that it's happening. So why is it happening?
While there are so many examples of where this decay is happening, I want to address technology's role. Technology, in general, keeps us from face to face contact, which is so important in helping us develop true social skills.
Proper social skills help us feel more comfortable and more relaxed in our own skin. We, as people, need social skills to help learn what's called "social norms", or what's considered acceptable behavior. I believe that it also helps a person develop compassion for other people, other than their family.
Even if a person is communicating with other people via the internet, the interaction is completely different than if they were in person. On-line, you can pretend to be anyone. You're more likely to say things you wouldn't otherwise because there are fewer consequences. While that may be freeing, and I know that it is for me too, there has to be a balance.
Yes, you can use the internet. Yes, you can watch tv. Yes, you can play video games. Just make sure that it's not all that you do. You have to make sure that you get the face to face interactions with people in order to ground you.
I don't think parents consider how damaging the use of video games as a baby sitter can be. Older generations weren't raised on video games though they may play them now and think that they're okay, so their kids will be too. The difference, again, is frequency.
Kids today, have never known a time without video games. If they get bored, they don't run outside and play with their friends, or learn to entertain themselves. Instead, kids today will sit in front of a tv and play mind-numbing shooter games all day if you let them. When this happens, imagination is lost, and that oh so important interaction with people is lost.
Take for example, cell phones. I cannot tell you how many times I'm out with someone and they spend half their time with me, texting or talking to someone else. It's rude behavior. There is no such thing as quality time with a person anymore. While you think that you can do two or three things at once, something will always suffer if you do not focus and give one thing your full attention. And we wonder why so many kids are diagnosed with A.D.D. How can we expect kids to pay attention for any length of time when society breeds us to have a 15 second attention span?
Again, I'm not saying that we can't do these things. Clearly, I use the internet myself. I'm saying that, as much as we don't want to, we need to look at the role technology plays in the declining values of today's youth. It's just something to think about.
